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Ring, ring, ring!Blue Prince!
Anyone got a Blue Prince?
Id never heard of this stupid game before, what, a month ago?
But now, oh boy.
Suddenly, everybodys all over it like white on rice.
Its the next coming of the messiah.
Out of nowhere,its now the highest rated game of the year.
Im supposed to believe its that good?
Because I dont remember seeing an endless run of increasingly expensive trailers.
And you know what?
I hate Blue Prince.
I hate it so much for what its done to me.
Blue Prince Hides Its Clever Premise
I hate that Blue Prince has made me take my time.
Oh, Im sorry!
I have to be careful.
I have to look between beds and on tables.
It couldnt be just one look one time, could it?
The rooms have to change each run through the mansion.
Sometimes a room has a magnifying glass!
But I love complacency!
Im supposed to know the date by remembering a hint from a previous room that I dont have anymore?
Im supposed to do a new math problem in my head every time I enter the billiards room?
Why cant the game just give it to me?
Instead, Ive got to screenshot and keep track of every possible clue.
Blue Prince Makes You Work For It
Its like I have to solve the puzzles without help!
I cant even get mad and click an icon that tells me what Im supposed to do.
Some games are happy to just tell you whats going on!
A big wall of unambiguous text!
A detached narrator commenting on everything!
Not Blue Prince, though!
Worse - its out of order!
Every time I think I know what this games story is, some weird new wrench gets thrown in.
Wait, is that a working button in the garage?
I wonder if I have to turn the power on in the breaker room.
It sucks that it feels like discoveringMystagain.
It blows that it feels like playingGone Homefor the first time.
Its downright embarrassing - for the game - that its deck mechanics grabbed me the waySlay the Spireinitially did.
I thought we were done with this ridiculous crap afterBalatro?
I thought wed agreed that was a one off thing.
Thats too many games in one game.
Each game should be one game or, at most, acollection of micro mini games based around Wario.
Not for nothing, its also pretty idiotic that the game is already onGame PassandPlayStation Plus.
Anyone could play it right now.
I ripped these nerds off by downloading it both onXboxandPS5.
Try and stop me, dorks.
But, like, I hate that they made this game as easy to get as possible.
Its a sign of weakness.
A real winner wouldve been released exclusively on theEpic Games Storeso I didnt know it existed for months.
And I hate that its taken over my life.
The strange GameCube classic is an essential part of the Switch 2 library.
Okay, maybe not ‘essential’…
